sábado, 26 de abril de 2008

el viaje: segunda parte y ...


la cena con el capitan no fue mal yo como la yuliarobers fijandome bien en todo pa no meter la pata con los cubiertos y todo eso. pena que de vino no tenian lanbrusco con lo rico que esta. pusieron uno de no se que vega, para mi que de la vega de cobadonga que me suena.no me gusto nada asin que pedi fanta de naranja.





me disguste porque uno de los camareros se le engancho mi collar al boton de su chaqueta.no se dio cuenta y siguio andando con lo que me jiro por conpleto que quede a casi medio haorcada y justo a la altura de sus partes nobles que cuanto mas intentaba el soltarme mas que me daba yo contra ellas y encima yo boqueando porque me ahogava como un pececito.el señor tiraba y mas que me ahogava y ya viendo que me ponia azul cojio un cuchillo y corto el collar y salieron todas las perlas rebotando por toda la mesa y cayendo entre los jisantes que teniamos de guarnizion.se me olvido contaros que las perlas eran berdes asin que luego mas de uno se debio acordar de mi parentela cuando en vez de morder un jisante mordio una de mis perlas. fue un bochorno la verdaz. por la noche el señor me dijo que no me preocupara que total la mesa del capitan era un aburrimiento y que mejor asin.





y asin seguimos el crucero como una pareja mas de enamorados asta que vino la catrastofe. yo la vi primero y me dio tienpo a esconderme tras una amaca.


- la avestruz!


el señor se quedo parado en el sitio.no le dio tienpo ni a recionar.




- Cariño que aces aqui?


- Pues yo estaba de crucero con Fifi y Agata ¿y tu? a ti si que no esperaba encontrarte aqui!


- Pues ya ves me diste enbidia. asi que decidi cojerme unos dias. Pero como as llgado asta este barco?


Total que la avestruz le cuenta que anoche el barco de ellas tuvo no se que problema y tuvieron que evocar a la jente a otros barcos. y a ellas le toco el nuestro. si es que estoy gafada.


- uh pues que bien porque la berdaz con Fifi y Agata estaba un poco estrecha las tres en un camarote.tienen kilos y kilos de ropa e inposible meterlos todos en un armario diminuto. asin que voy a decirselo y me traslado al tuyo querido. ¿qué número es?


-vale querida.voy a arreglarlo un poco. el 223


Supongo que imajinareis la carrera que nos dimos en cuanto desaparecio la avestruz.El señor y yo metiendo en mi maleta todolo mio: bikinies, tangas, jollas todo. luego a asegurarse que no se biera ni un pelo mio claro.


- Ya esta. venga vete antes de que... -se cayo. abian llamado.


Me meti corriendo en la bañera con maleta y todo. era la avestruz con las dos cacatuas de amigas que tiene que la alludaban a traer la ropa.


- Mira mi maridito que listo que es el: baya un camarote que se cojio.


- Fifi miraaaaa!. O sea que cucada: mira que conjunto de ropa interior tan... dibino a ido a conprarle... seguro que querias estrenarlo ahora con ella he pillin?


- yo le veo un poco vulgar la berdaz -dijo la fifi -a mi el cuero me sujiere perbersidades de esas contra las que el Padre Cifrian nos tiene adbertidas.


- a ver? Pero si yo no uso tanga querido -uso la voz esa fria que corta como un cuchillo que la conogco yo.


- ya cariño.pero no tenian de esas que te tapan bien el culito para que no cojas frio, las que te gustan a ti. y este me parecio tan orijinal asin de cuero y con cadenitas.


- bueno pues se lo regalas a la Romana cuando lleguemos a casa. Nadie mas bulgar que ella. Perdonad que voy al baño.


- No! todabia no an benido a linpiarlo! bamos al del comedor y asin aprobechamos y comemos.


Menos mal. Yo ya estaba pensando como esplicarle a la abestruz que acia alli. En cuanto se fueron sali. estaba como sindefensa. ahora donde me escondia? como iba a comer? y si me pillaban? las lagrimas enpezaron a salirseme y en ese momento aparecio el señor que me abrazo y me beso.


- Lloras calamar mio? tranquila mi amor. he vuelto con una disculpa tonta pero he ido donde el capitan a contarle rapido el problema y mira. - menseño una llave -un camarote para ti. tendras que estar sin salir asta que lleguemos a Barcelona. y arreglartelas sola con el abion. estos dias yo me encargare de que no te falte de nada. Te quiero.


Me fui flotando en una nube asta mi nuevo camarote. Me queria. Toma y yo a el. Pero savia que lo nuestro era un inposible. no me quedaba otra que ser su chacha y su amante. Menos mal que solo faltaban dos dias para llegar al puerto porque me dio mucho tienpo para pensar de todo. El señor venia todo lo que podia.


En el abion: nos encontramos. digo con la abestruz.


- Romana! que aces aqui?


- ya ve me vine unos dias a casa de una amiga.


- vaya pues yo te acia en casa. espero no encontrarme la casa echa unos zorros.


- pues si no ha ido nadie no señora. quedo limpia. y ustez sabe que me debia vacaciones desde el año pasado.


- ya pero primero me lo preguntas. que sea la ultima vez eh? anda pero vas en bisnes como nosotros?


- pues si señora.pa una vez que viajo por lo menos lo ago comodamente.


- que casualidad te toca con mi marido. no te inportara canbiarme el sitio berdaz?


El señor me miraba con ojos suplicantes.


- no señora claro que no.


se quedo mirando mi billete. la berdaz es que ella de tonta no tiene un pelo. se puso roja como un tomate parecia que iba a esplotar. y comenzo a gritar en medio del abion que estabamos liados su marido y su chacha que el era el politico tal y cual que ella no se merecia eso que yo era un puton berbenero... yo queria morirme. A mi pobre señor le planto una bofetada en todas sus santas barbas y hay ya no me calle. total de perdidos al rio: le agarre de sus pelos fritos y con la otra mano le di yo dos bofetadas una por lo abestruz que a sido comigos todos estos años y otra por sacudirle a mi señor. ella intento morderme la nariz pero no yego. el señor me agarro y salimos del abion. claro todabia no abia arrancado. y nos fuimos.


el señor me llebaba corriendo de la mano y de pronto se paro y enpezo a reirse como nunca le abia oido. me asuste digo este le a dado mal. y no.


- Romana: esto es lo mejor que me podia aber pasado. aun despues de que tenga que pagarle a mi mujer por el diborcio me quedara para poder vivir sencillamente pero sin preocupaciones. Tengo una casita en la Toscana. Ella no lo sabe. Iba a ser para cuando me jubilara. ¿enpezarias una nueva vida conmigo allí? una vida de dos personas mayores que se quieren.


¿que que le dije? pues ustedes que creen? que ya me tocaba ser feliz. y esta oportunidad no iba a dejarla pasar. Mis hijos y el de el se an echo amigos. bienen cada dos por tres. con el Alba able y le conte todo. y el para consolarse se junto con la Maruchi que estaba triste con mi partida y ahora son los dos felicisimos. el Pio se a arrejuntao con el Manolo. quiero decir que viven juntos.no creo que aya nada mas. a la Momia la detuvieron ace nada por tener el balcon de su casa lleno de marijuana. la Akita se quedo enbarazada del Venancio y tubieron triyizos. y yo soy muy feliz. la avestruz tras conseguir un divorcio bueno se junto con un modelo de 25 años. y se a echo tres operaciones mas. el señor me enseña ortogafria y geografia y asta istoria. no aprendo mucho porque sienpre acabamos metidos en arina. parece que fueramos adolescentes. es que nos miramos y nos perdemos en la mirada del otro. que bonito eh?


Y aqui acaba este bloc. ya no tengo desbenturas que contaros: las desbenturas tienen su gracia. la felicidad solo para quien la vive. y si alguna vez tengo desbenturas volveria a acerlo. gracias por aconpañarme. sois la pera. abrazos.

Romana

220 comentarios:

1 – 200 de 220   Más reciente›   El más reciente»
Alma dijo...

Bueno, tomatelo con calma, que en esta vida siempre hay algo que contar, sobre todo tú con ese desparpajo. Un abrazo, ha sido un placer leer tus desventuras con esa gracia, volveras?

Besos salados

circe dijo...

Comooooor...como que aqui acabas este blog....qué cabrona...ahora que eres feliz a los demás.....a freir espárragos...jajajaja...Menudo desenlace....entre las tortas, los tirones de pelo, los mordiscos en la nariz....Pues nada, que seas muy feliz en la Toscana....por cierto...vas a necesitar a una chica de la limpieza???? jajaja...besos

+SUSANA dijo...

¡Pero que dices! ¿Que acabas el bloggggg? Leches Romana, que te has dejao sorber el seso por el señor. ¡A la Toscana, na menos! ¡Menuda suerte! De chacha a señora y tol dia encamá.
Bueno, al menos le diste su merecido a la avestruz. Oye, pero aunque no tengas desventuras, ahora nos podrías contar tus venturas, ¿o noooo?
Y ya veo que los demás también han tenido su final feliz.
Espero que sigas contandonos sus cosas, porque a mi me has hecho reir y sufrir contigo en cada una de tus historias. Besos, guapetona.

PIER BIONNIVELLS dijo...

HEYY..
COMO ES ESO?.
No es posible que acabe..
por fa quedate..
Siempre tendras cosas nuevas y lindas que contar..
No te vayas por fa..
Me encanta venir a visitarte..
huy.. te echare mucho de menos..
solo espero que seas feliz muy feliz..
un abrazote.

by Alex dijo...

.....Y colorín colorado, este cuento se .......¿De verdad lo dejas,Romana?.
Bueno, es lógico...viviendo en la Toscana mas feliz que una perdiz, y sin tiempo para contarnos tus aventuras.....porque siempre estas "metida en harina".....se puede entender que nos dejes...

La berdaz...una putada...haora que avia aprendido a escrivir a la romana....jajajaja

¿Sabes, Romana?....si algun dia te cansas de esa vida tan buena y de ese señor.....y vuelves a tener experiencias fuertes como las que nos has contado...Ya sabes que hacer....ESTARE ESPERANDOTE,para que vuelvas a contarme cosas....Casi asturiana....jajajaja
Un beso y hasta luego que no me gustan las despedidas...Muacks

ivana carina dijo...

noooooo!! Romana no te vayas!!!!
Serà una pena venir y no leerte!
Pero bueh! Mientras seas Feliz en Toscana con el señor, anda maja! Diviértete y sé feliz!!!
Un besote!!!

Kiri_dido dijo...

Muy bien hecho. Que disfrutes mucho de tu renovada vida y gracias por las risas Romana!. Si el señor tiene un amigo soltero ya sabes...llama:-). Un beso.

Ñoco Le Bolo dijo...

Ya puede inaginar usted cuánto me alegro. En estos últimos tiempos de arremetidas contra la ortografía había llegado a cogerle un especial cariño.
No me parece leal desearles más desventuras pra que siga deleitándonos con sus aventuras. Me alegro mucho del final. La Toscana es el lugar adecuado para el final de sus días. Por cierto, si visita Pisa, que sé que lo harás, no crea que la torre estás torcida. Es el resto del mundo... ya se dará cuenta.

Un beso muy fuerte
SSSS

C d R - Tocana - ana dijo...

Muy señora nuestra:

Sabiendo que próximamente vendrá a fijar su residencia en la Toscana, le comunicamos que estamos sumamente interesados en que sea una de nuestras ciudades la elegida.
Es obvio que su residencia en cualquiera de ellas habrá de ser fuente de ingresos turísticos y por ello nos hemos constituído en Comite de Residencia, CdR, a fin de organizarle unos turnos.
Atentamente, los alcaldes de Pisa, Pistoia, Florencia y Siena.

Había más, pero no les hemos dejado sindicarse.

circe dijo...

gggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

raangul dijo...

pero bueno!!!!!
si tenías el share por las nubes con veintitantos comentarios por episodio (que ya quisiera mas de uno).. un éxito de público y crítica.. y te cargas al personaje??.. ¿es que te ha pedido un aumento de sueldo??

:(..
joooooo

GRACITA MORALES dijo...

Me alegro mucho por tí, guapisima, Hecharemos de menos tus desventuras, pero nos alegramos de que por fin seas feliz. y siempre podremos ir a visitarte a ese lugar de ensueño!
gracias por hacernos pasar ratos tan divertidos.
un beso y hasta pronto.

oveja dijo...

niña, en hantinton la actriz que hace de violeta se ha partido una pierna, quieres sustituirla? y si funciona la echo del tirón y pa ti la prota..a mí la violeta siempre me pareció un poco cursi.. vete a ver esto anda, que anima mucho:
http://es.youtube.com/watch?v=nGOZV6p8ktI

Anika dijo...

Gracias por tó y hasta la vista!

Muakas

Anika

mujer-florero dijo...

Que me pierdo ¿Quien era la MOMIA?
Besos.

Pedro (Glup). dijo...

¿Es en serio?

Romana Lopez dijo...

alma: mi abuela decia eso de nunca digas que de este agua no bebere.pues eso.no se.abrazos

circe:tranquila que linpiare yo solita pero si quieres benir de bacaciones.abrazos

susana:muchas gracias guapa.pero las venturas no son dibertidas.la avestruz anda muy feliz.abrazos

pier:intentare ser feliz y si no volbere a contaroslo.abrazos

kirikido:si tiene amigos solteros pero son muy sinverguenzas que lo sepas.abrazos

ñocolebolo:gracias por tu jenerosidaz.me encantan las pisas asi que seguro que ire a esa torre no torcida.el mundo anda muy torcido si.abrazos

comision esa rara:bueno pues ustedes me mandan un presupuesto y yo ya les contestare.abrazos

circe: la rabia?

contarangul:¿que personaje ni que niño muerto?la felicidaz hijo que pa una vez que yama a mi puerta.abrazos

gracita:hija tu si que as mejorado tu ortogafria.gracias por tus buenos deseos.abrazos

oveja:es que no conogco a nadie del bideo.asin que no mentero de queva.aberme mandado uno del masimo valberde hija.a lo del papel ya te conteste en tu bloc.abrazos

anika:de nada.abrazos

mujerflorero:tu no te acuerdas de la bruja que fui a que me hechara las cartas? mira mas pabajo.abrazos

pedro glup:bienbenido pero a buenas oras mangas berdes justo ahora que cierro el bloc.que si es en serio lo de que cierro o mistoria? abrazos

by Alex dijo...

¿No hay comentario para Alex ni para Ivana?......grrrrrrr...
...Ainssss...como diría Carli....
no sé yo si serás medioasturiana...
¡¡¡Olvidarse de los amigos!!!!

Romana Lopez dijo...

tengo un depiste cosa mala.ya me podeis perdonar los dos.es que ando con la cabeza volada con tanta felichita que dicen aca.
ales e ivanacarina:a mi tanpoco me gustan las despedidas asi que solo os digo arribederchi que dicen estos espaguetis y que gracias por todo.de todos modos os are alguna bisita cuando tenga tienpo a ales seguro que mas que a la ivana que publica demasiao.abrazos y besos por olbidaros a los dos.

Luca dijo...

Pero qué es esto? Ahora que llego yo y te has ido? si es que llego tarde siempre. Yo que venía a mirar cómo iba el pilpil ese. Has pensado en calamar a la 'romana', jeje. Es más común, todo un clásico, pero tiene su cosa.
Un beso.

by Alex dijo...

¿Tu madre, tambien era de "echar a correr"?.....jajajaja....Entonces, como mi suegra, Romi, cariño....
¿Tambien te tocó correr descalza para llegar al tren?....jajaja
Pero, no sé, si será peor ahora, que les importa muy poco, donde estan sus hijas....al menos eso es lo que parece....es facil decir...."Es que no puedo con ella"....jajaja
Romana...no te alejes...quedate por aquí cerca....¿vale?
Mil besos...

Pipa Hidraulica dijo...

Al albañil se lo quisieron levantar

by Alex dijo...

Jajajaja.....¿Yo, en pelotas en la playa de Xagó?..
¿Quieres quedar traumatizada para toda la vida,Romi?...
La verdad, no te recomiendo esa "visión".....pierdo mucho sin ropa, que los años no perdonan, Dña. Romana....jajaja
Pero si te hace ilusión, puedo enviarte una foto en bolas, de cuando tenia 20 años....Esa es otra cosa....la pondrias pegada en el frigorifico.....jajajaja

Un besazo...mi reina...

¿Cuando decides "descubrir" tu identidad?....
Mi primer apuesta....Carlota
Mi segunda...........Kiri
Tercera..............Circe

Romana Lopez dijo...

luca:muy gracioso lo del calamar a mi ya me an echo bromas de esas no te creas.abrazos

ales:mi madre y mi essuegra las dos tal para cual.abrazos

pipa:no entiendo.abrazos

ales:ya me gustaria a mi escribir como esas tres juntas.oyes te falto la cuarta y quinta apuesta ¿que tal un honbre para bariar?abrazos

by Alex dijo...

¿Un hombre?.....
No me lo creo....lo dices pa despistarme....
La forma de escribir y describir esas aventuras....el tipo de humor manejado en tus entradas...y varias pistas mas, que no voy a descubrir.....me dan una garantia del 99 % que la dueña de este blog es una mujer....
Si no he acertado en ninguna de mis apuestas, entonces ya no se me ocurre nadie más, sinceramente.
De todos modos, no pienso cortarme las venas por descubrir el secreto...Ademas, no pienso ganarme la vida como el "Rapell" ese de los cojones, que no acierta una ni por equivocación....jajajaja

Ahora que lo pienso....Dña. Romana...me tiene un poco mosqueao eso de "Abrazos"....tengo que mirar otras entradas....¿Nunca te despides con "Besos"?
Joder.....No sé....No sé...¿Abrazos?

by Alex dijo...

Bueno.....al final encontré algun..."saludos".....y...."besos señora gracita".
Pero, me costó trabajo....casi siempre "abrazos"....
Dña.Romana, es ud una mujer de sumo "contacto" y suma "formalidad"....jajajaja

by Alex dijo...

Romi...casiasturiana/ano...

¿No sabes que el chunda chunda es lo que ponen en las discos?..
¿Cuanto hace que no vas ha bailar?...
Pero si quieres, tambien podemos ir a bailar algo mas "calentito"...mas "caribeño"...Salsa,Chachacha,Merengue,bachata....... con mojitos, daikiris y todo eso...
¿que te parece?...
Pero, como me digas que en realidad eres un hombre....de bailar juntos...NA DE NA...
Avisada estas, pelosazules....jajaja

Me tienes mosqueao...no se si date besos, abrazos o saludos....jajaja

Alma dijo...

Una pena no haber encontrado una desventura tuya mas, un abrazo bonita.

Besotes saladotes

Carlota dijo...

De verdad no te arrepientes? Es que se te echa de menos, hija. Un besuco.

Romana Lopez dijo...

ales:oyes me volveras loc@ pues yo ya no digo mas que ya dige bastante.y oyes un baile es un baile sea con quien sea.abrazos

alma:pues hija es que ahora son todo aventuras pero buenas.abrazos

carlota:de momento sigo fenomenal asin.si canbia la cosa ya os enterareis.abrazos

Bolero dijo...

no fastidies q acabo de encontrarte, eso no se hace coño...
si se empieza se sigue, joer anda venga

un abrazo y gracias por tus aventuras
muakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

by Alex dijo...

Jajajaja.....No des pistas,Romi...que pa eso dejé los comentarios sin autor, pa que solo uno mismo sepa cual es el suyo....jajajaja

Ademas, no es cierto que sea el mas guarro....es muy gracioso...

¿Bailar con un tio?.....No sabría, además queda poco fisno eso de bailar dos tios, con la cantidad de tias que hay sin pareja de baile....
ABRAZOS.......por si acaso...

by Alex dijo...

Por cierto....
¿Les has dicho a Carlota y a Alma, lo mismo que a mi?....
Eso, de que a lo mejor eres un tio......¡he!...¡he!....¡he!..
No las tengas engañadas.....con lo que ellas te quieren, seguro que se alegrarían mucho.....si además eres un "pleiboi" de esos...se mueren del susto y del gusto...jajajajaja

Romana Lopez dijo...

bolero: asta aqui llegue de momento y estoy bien asin.gracias y abrazos.

ales:pues para mi que cada bez ahi mas tios sin pareja de baile o de lo que sea.y oyes lo que te dige lo dige aqui delante de todo el mundo no escondo nada y cada uno que entienda lo que quiera que para eso esta la libertaz de espresion.y no creo que a ellas les aga falta ningun pleiboi a ninguna de las dos que de eso esta este mundo sobrao y ellas valen mucho mas que eso.abrazos

Chiqui dijo...

Pues s� Romana, tienes muchas gracia; ya hab�a visitado tu blog hace tiempo, hice intenci�n de seguirte pero ya sabes lo que pasa con las buenas intenciones y la mala memoria�Supongo que lo de tu ortograf�a no tiene remedio. Seguro que sabes que despu�s de punto se escribe may�scula�Pero que m�s da, verdad? se te entiende mucho mejor que a un acad�mico de la lengua.

Efectivamente estas bastante floja; menudas vacaciones! Qui�n pudiera. No habr�s perdido el empleo? Besos, chica.

Romana Lopez dijo...

señorachiqui: mi ortogafria a mejorado desde que tomo clases.lo de la mayuscula despues del punto es que me se olbida pero poco a poco.me flogea todo sobre todo las piernas pero de tanta felicidad.estoy buscando enpleo para no aburrirme.no se si montar un puesto de pajaritas de papel que le parece?abrazos

Chiqui dijo...

Romana, un truquito que me dieron a mí de pequeña: las semanas vienen antes que los meses…así que debe decir antes se (semana) y luego me (mes) = se me olvida.

Por qué le flojean las piernas? Y la circulación del brazo, se le corta? Pásese por mi blog que sólo hay gente seria . Pero no diga que yo he dicho esto porque los conozco a casi todos!

Romana Lopez dijo...

doñachiki: es que a esa lecion no llegue todabia pero intentare recordarme.pues yo le diria porque me flogean pero en pribado claro que ya bastante cochinadas he contado en mi bloc intimo.oiga si solo ahi gente seria en su bloc igual me aburro no se.bueno ire a verla porque es ustez.abrazos

Mónica...Cine Cuentos. dijo...

hola romana, me gustó conocer tu blog, y a disfrutar de tu vida renovada.

bsss.

lorena bobbita dijo...

Romana, de parte de Olmez y mía que eres estupenda y que nos has hecho reir una jartá.
Nos vemos en el otro lado. Abrazos.

Romana Lopez dijo...

monica:pues hija ya siento que yegues tan tarde.abrazos.
doña lorenay donolmez: ya sabia yo que algo se cocia entre ustedes dos y que no era solo el besugo.a ver si van a ser ustedes los de los nueve churrunveles.pues me alegro que mis desgracias les agan reir asin da gusto.abrazos

olmez dijo...

Romana, voy a estar en La Vida Ficticia de. Me haría usted muy feliz si pudiera encontrármela por allí.
Pues sí que es verdad, Lorena y yo, salvo churumbeles, lo compartimos casi todo, principalmente lo mucho que nos gusta su compañía.
Hasta muy pronto, espero.

Alma dijo...

Felices Fiestas!! y allí donde estés que lo pases muy muy bien.

Bessos salados

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